#2 How Time Has Changed Me

Everyone knows my favorite subject is myself, so naturally it would be relatively easy to analyze my “character development” throughout my high school career. I feel that everyone changes yearly in high school, unless you’re a total introvert. I, myself, have changed many times in high school. I was a flaming out of the closet bisexual, made a lot of fake friendships and the change I am most proud of is the way I have developed maturity. About three months before high school I attended my first 4-H camp, and I left with a strange feeling. I had realized the truth about myself and that truth was that I was bisexual. Ninth grade Zach was fearless and had no worries. I wrote sexually suggestive poetry about another male student and presented it to the class, I was ridiculed for that. I did terrible things to my friends that I’m ashamed of. I was trying too hard to be accepted and in the end was rejected. I still pay for some of those “overly gay” actions, but that was my past and I will not go back that. I’ve matured so much from those freshman days, and when I reminisce I do laugh. Since then I’ve became more bashful, but at the same time don’t care how other people perceive me. I’ve became more secure in who I am, I know that society will be against me, especially here, and I’m okay with that. As I said last year I love myself and I’ll treat myself like gold when no one else will. Starting high school I didn’t have many friends. I had seven stable friends, that’s all. Part of the reason was that most of the people I considered friends left me for better people or dropped me because I was bisexual. The world can be a cruel place, but over time I’ve lost more old friends, developed new friends, and even better, stayed true to who I am and my friends love me for it. But anyway back to the social part. Like I said in the above paragraph I was overly outgoing and made a lot of fake friendships that didn’t work out because they made fun of me behind my back. I now know who my real friends are and I wouldn’t change them for the world. Some people may look at me and say I’m childish or perverse, but I don’t really care. I know that I’m mature. I’ve had to mature! There comes a point in almost everyone’s life either has to man up or they crumble under the pressure. I have refused to crumble. Freshman year I did crumble and it took me an entire year to pick back up my pieces and become whole again. As stated above I was going through a lot all at once; my mother’s third divorce, coming to terms with my sexuality and pretty much being rejected in a world where all I wanted was acceptance. That type of pressure is a killer. I’ve battled depression and anxiety (victory was mine); I’ve put up death threats, names, and an entire Spanish class making fun of my less than masculine voice. You won’t be able to find someone with tougher skin than me. If haven’t caught on I'm pretty dynamic. I wouldn’t change my past one bit, it has made me who I am and I’m pretty proud of that.